Thursday, November 05, 2009

Scars


Today is the 25th anniversary of my Mom's passing and I have nothing to say.
Every year I have some memory of her that I share with you; this year I have nothing. I was trying to come up with something to write but once I realized that I was "forcing it" I decided to stop trying. I wonder if I have somehow forgotten the stories? Is there nothing left for me to say about her? Is that even possible? What does this mean?
As I told a dear friend this morning "Time really does heal all wounds although it does leave the scars behind." However, scarring is a natural part of the healing process.
I realize now after all these years that I've moved beyond the pain of her death and I probably did some time ago. I no longer cry to myself when I think of her and I can't even say that I think of her every day anymore. This seems wrong and yet, right, somehow. I wish I could explain it better but words fail me today. All I know is that I sit here 25 years after the death of my mother and, somehow, I have found peace with it.
Wow.
I still miss you, Mom...and I always will. But the pain has gone away and all that remains is this scar.