Questions

Not too long ago I had basically the same conversation with two dear friends. This conversation was about life and our place in it and generally started something like this, "I'm forty-something and I'm wondering is this all there is? Is this all that I'm meant to be?"

You get the idea.

Of course, being forty-something myself I have also given some thought to these ideas, too. After all, I understand (at least peripherally) that I probably have less years ahead of me than lay behind me. Let's be honest, forty-something is middle-age. In fact, it is statistically some years beyond middle-aged, but since forty is the new thirty then we'll forgive any mathematical mistakes that arise from existential thinking. And yet, I think the questions raised during these conversations are valid ones. "Is this all there is? Is this all that I'm meant to be?" are questions that every adult should ask themselves every once in a while. Its probably a good idea to take stock of your surroundings and ask yourself "Am I the person that I'm supposed to be? Have I discovered who I am?"

And then I want you to throw this crap out the window.

I'm sure that I do not know much about life and that, in the grand scheme of things, I am but a dust mote in the eye of the universe. But I do know this:

Life is not about "discovering yourself". Rather, it is about creating the person that you want to be.

Discovering yourself only means that you know who you are at that moment of discovery but does not take into account the changes that develop over time. Creating yourself means constantly working on the masterpiece that is "you" by allowing yourself to be shaped and formed by the forces that you set into motion as well as those that you do not.

We are given chances throughout our lives to invent and reinvent ourselves as we see fit. If you regret not learning a language in school then take a class now and do so. You're always wanted to see Europe but never had the time, money, etc to do so then make the time, money, etc and get on a plane. You've always wanted to paint, write, draw, carve, sculpt, etc but didn't have the time, money, tools etc to do so then go out and find them and do it.

Life in the 21st century offers so many more opportunities to us than even our parents had. Can't get to college? Take on-line courses. Need information on the Battle of Britain? Off to Google you go. Want to learn a language? Buy, rent, borrow ( from the library) the learning DVD's and get a'learnin'.

Simply put, we are who we choose to be.

Take the time and choose to create the "you" that you want to be and then, when you find yourself sitting in one of the quiet moments of your life, you can look at what you have wrought and be content with it. And if, in one of the quiet moments of your life, you find a sense of disquiet, then work to fill the hole in your serenity.

So now you have to ask yourself, "Who do you want to be?"

And then get busy.

"Here endeth the lesson."