Thursday, November 05, 2009

Scars


Today is the 25th anniversary of my Mom's passing and I have nothing to say.
Every year I have some memory of her that I share with you; this year I have nothing. I was trying to come up with something to write but once I realized that I was "forcing it" I decided to stop trying. I wonder if I have somehow forgotten the stories? Is there nothing left for me to say about her? Is that even possible? What does this mean?
As I told a dear friend this morning "Time really does heal all wounds although it does leave the scars behind." However, scarring is a natural part of the healing process.
I realize now after all these years that I've moved beyond the pain of her death and I probably did some time ago. I no longer cry to myself when I think of her and I can't even say that I think of her every day anymore. This seems wrong and yet, right, somehow. I wish I could explain it better but words fail me today. All I know is that I sit here 25 years after the death of my mother and, somehow, I have found peace with it.
Wow.
I still miss you, Mom...and I always will. But the pain has gone away and all that remains is this scar.

3 Comments:

Blogger Cynthia said...

Last year I was missing my dad, realizing that he would have been 70 and I mourned the loss of that old man in my life. But now I have come to some sort of peace about that.

Next spring it will be 25 years since his passing. Ironically I had surgery about a month before he died. The scar and the love are the only things left.

9:52 AM, November 06, 2009  
Blogger Fox In Detox said...

As it should be... you have your memories...and now your soul has healed. That's a good thing.

Peace is yours my friend.

11:22 AM, November 06, 2009  
Blogger Andy said...

Thank you both.

"The scar and the love are the only things left." - I couldn't have said that better myself, Cindy.

3:32 PM, November 06, 2009  

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