Who IS This - Answer

Using a Kirk reference against me, Cindy? The nerve. And yet, well played, my friend, well played. And you are correct! Our mystery celebrity is none other than MIA SARA.

Gaze at all of her last century loveliness here:

Ah. Mia. I just loved her in 1986.

Mia Sara was born June 19th, 1967 in Brooklyn Heights, New York as Mia Sarapocciello. Her acting career began in Legend (1985) where she played Princess Lily. Hot on the heels of this fondly remembered (but not too much so) film she burst onto movie screens everywhere as Sloane Peterson, girlfriend to Ferris Bueller in Ferris Bueller's Day Off - the BEST movie of 1986 and one of my absolute favorite films of all time.

But I digress...

In 1988 she starred in a truly horrific film entitled Shadows in the Storm with Ned Beatty. In 1989 she starred in "Til We Meet Again" a made for TV miniseries based on a Judith Krantz novel. Mia was not on a hot streak, project wise, at this point.

Her other big film was the 1994 film, Timecop, with Jean Claude Van-Damme. I know - the horror, the horror. Mia won the "Best Supporting Actress" Saturn award from the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror Films for her performance in this film, which I'm sure that she displays proudly in her home. The home that she has shared with her husband, Jason Connery (yes - Sean Connery's son) since they were married in March 1996. In June 1997 they had a baby boy, Dashiell Quinn. They also have some dogs and she has her pilots license blah blah blah.

But again, I digress..

She was also in a couple episodes of the TV series Time Trax, and two episodes of Chicago Hope as Annie, a post-operative transsexual. A role on the WB's short-lived series Birds of Prey was her last, major role. Although she did guest star in an episode of CSI:NY in 2005.

Ah Mia. We'll always have Ferris.

Who IS This??

And now, its time for yet another edition of no-one's favorite blog game -

Who IS This??

This month's victim appears below:

Look! Look and be amazed that someone so young can just look so hideously awful. Stare in amazement as you try to figure out how a once promising young actress looks when she is forced (and she must have been forced) to bleach her own hair for a photo shoot. Because, let's be honest, what stylist would actually admit to doing this to a client? It had to be done in her own sink.

Where to begin? Our once legendary actress has starred in 2 major motion pictures - one of which is a classic film; the other not so much. However, after her classic film her rising star soon plummeted and she was forced to take roles in a Judith Krantz production just to survive.

Things only went downhill from there.

Soon there were guest appearances on such classic TV shows as "Time Trax" and an ill-fated turn on the WB.

Now, without the use of the internet (because, really, that's cheating) let's see which one of my many readers can be the first to look past the bleach and tell us the identity of the mystery actress.

Once again, my friends, Who IS This???

Can I get the Meat Double-Wrapped?

And now, because no one asked for it:

The Brokeback Mountain Grocery List!

WEEK ONE
Beans
Bacon
Coffee
Whiskey

WEEK TWO
Beans
Ham
Coffee
Whiskey

WEEK THREE
Beans
Bacon
Coffee
Whiskey
K-Y Jelly

WEEK FOUR
Beans
Pancetta
Coffee--espresso grind, please
Whiskey
2 tubes K-Y Jelly

WEEK FIVE
Some nice fresh Fava beans
Jasmine rice
Prosciutto--about 8 ounces, thinly sliced
Medallions of veal--a pound at least
Porcini Mushrooms
A half pint of heavy whipping cream
1 Cub Scout uniform--size 42 long
Five or six bottles of a good chardonnay
1 large bottle Astro-glide

WEEK SIX
Yukon Gold potatoes
Heavy whipping cream
Asparagus (only the freshest and thinnest spears, please)
Eggs
Lemons
Gruyere cheese (aged, please)
Walnuts
Arugula
Butter
Olive oil
Balsamic vinegar
6 yards white silk organdy
6 yards pale ivory taffeta
At least a case of Chardonnay
large tin Crisco

The Blog That Goes Like This

Katie and I saw Spamalot at the Colonial Theatre on Friday night.

Much like the movie Monty Python & The Holy Grail, Spamalot's plot follows King Arthur as he journeys to find the Holy Grail. Arthur, traveling with his servant Patsy, recruits several knights to accompany him on his quest, including Sir Robin, Sir Lancelot and Sir Galahad. Along the way, they meet the Lady of the Lake and a host of other characters, including Prince Herbert, The French Taunter, Tim the Enchanter, the Black Knight and the Knights of Ni.

FYI - If just the mention of the Knights of Ni or Tim the Enchanter don't cause you to snicker to yourself while reading this blog then I advise you not to waste your time actually going to see Spamalot. Instead, I suggest that you find something much more boring and pedestrian to do, like, say, watch a rerun of Murder, She Wrote.

Besides taking the best bits from the movie the show also adds some truly hilarious gags and songs that spoof the aura of the Broadway musical. Among these gems are "The Song That Goes Like This" and "Laker Girls Cheer", which bolsters the appearance of the Lady in the Lake to ludicrous levels.

I have never laughed so hard at a theatre production in my life. Every aspect of the show is brilliantly funny. Even the homepage for the production is a hoot.

If you are a Python fan then you owe it to yourself to see this production. It has a limited run in Boston at the Colonial Theatre from March 7th to April 15th. The extended scene with the French Taunter alone is worth the price of admission.

Run, or Silly Walk, to the Colonial Theatre to see this show.

Pre-Emptive Blog

The President is on a PR trip:

We Get to Shoot First

Three years of the war in Iraq (and two years after "Mission Accomplished") have proven that a "Pre-emptive War" does not assure the peace.

Yet, instead of focusing on any actual issues facing us today, the President is wasting both his time, our time and taxpayer money to travel the country explaining how right he was to go to war in the first place - and how another "pre-emptive war" may be needed in iran.

Thank you for the update, Mr. President. But believe me, I have never once believed that you thought you were wrong about the War in Iraq. Or about anything, for that matter.

Instead of crowing about a decision that you forced down our throats three years ago, why don't you engage and astound us with the many new and impressive ideas that you have concerning Iraq on a go-forward basis.

Like an exit strategy.

Go ahead - we're waiting.

While we're waiting, let's ponder this question: If it is okay for the United States to launch a "Pre-Emptive War" against Iran (or anybody, for that matter) because they may or may not use their nuclear weapons then why can't THEY do the same to US?

Goodbye Children!

No more will we hear a friendly "Hello children! What are you little crackas up to today?" from our beloved James McElroy aka "Chef" on South Park.

Why?

Because Chef is Leaving South Park

Isaac Hayes feels that South Park has "crossed the line" from satire to hatred and bigotry regarding religion. Of course, its interesting that Hayes attitude only comes after South Park created an episode entitled "Trapped in the Closet" which lampooned the bejeezus out of Scientology, of which Hayes is a devout follower.

To put this in context, here are some of the quotes from episodes about religions that Hayes does not belong to, nor did he object to their content:

Cartman (singing): I want to get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus. I want to feel his salvation all over my face.

Other Mom: Can Eric spend the night?
Mrs. Cartman: No, I'm sorry, Eric is grounded for trying to exterminate the Jews last week.

Chef: Hello there, children.
Stan: Chef! What would a priest want to stick up my butt?
Chef: Goodbye.

Cartman: Alright. Look. I didn't want to have to say this, but I think maybe we're not seeing heaven because one of us doesn't believe in it enough.
Kyle: Huh?
Cartman: Heaven could be like the pixie fairies of Bubblegum Forest. You only see them if you really believe in them.
Stan: What?
Cartman: You know, maybe we're not seeing heaven because one of us is a J-O-O.
Kyle: What does me being a Jew have to do with anything?

Cartman (singing): Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross/I can't help but think that he looks kinda' hot.

Cartman: Well God, I guess you got me again, didn't you? Yeah, that was a good one, God. Hope it made you laugh, you sick bastard.

Cartman: Think about it - it's the easiest, crappiest music in the world, right? If we just sing about how much we love Jesus, all the Christians will buy our crap."

Apparantly joking about Christianity and Judaism is okay.

Now, I'm all for standing up for what you believe in, but I think that I have to agree Matt Stone - it appears that Isaac Hayes wanted everything else to be the butt of the joke - just not something that he believes in.

And I HATE hypocrisy.

Calling All Nerds

How awesome is this?

T.Rex is No Longer The King

Check out the dimensions of these things! Also, make sure that you click on the accompanying illustrations. They're so cool!!!

Being a kid who spent his hard earned allowance on the Golden Book of Dinosaurs at Fernandes Supermarket in Pembroke I can still remember when all of the dinosaurs were green, grey and stupid. Now they're the ancestors of birds and had solid familial units.

Oops - the GEEK alarm just went off. Time to rein it back in.

NOW We're Talking!

Katie and I were driving down the Jamaicaway on Sunday when I saw the following bumper sticker:

"No One Died when Clinton Lied"

This, of course, is sad but true. As I chuckled to myself I also thought how sad it was that Republicans were so quick to try to impeach President Clinton for lying about his extra-marital blow-job and yet NO ONE has the kajones to try to impeach Bush for all of his lying and lawbreaking.

Until Now:

Go Newfane!

Back to the Future Blog - Part II

I knew that I could count on Summer Ryan Doyle for a thought-provoking and fun response to the query "Is Back to the Future a Classic Movie?

For anyone too lazy to click on her original response link then I am giving you another chance to read it here.

For the record, Summer, I completely agree with you - except for the fact that my brother never asked me to stop watching the tape after 17 viewings.

In your reply, you asked "...can an eight year old girl watch Back to the Future today and see past the dated soundtrack and hairstyles to the story beneath. Will she be moved by it? Will it stay with her? I'm not sure."

Good question.

I watched the movie with Jenna almost one year ago so she was 12 at the time. Did she like it? Yes. Did she laugh at all the right jokes? Yes. Did she just love Doc brown? Yes. Did she love the movie? No. I believe that she said (with a shrug) "It was good...but not my favorite."

Keep in mind, she said this about Star Wars. She liked it but added that the special FX were really bad and Mark Hamill is a lousy actor. However, she LOVED the original Robin Hood with Errol Flynn as well as Raiders of the lost Ark so all is not lost.

Summer also stated "You don't have to justify your tastes to anyone. One man's classic is another's boring piece of junk (Chinatown was painful to get through and I thought The Maltese Falcon was kinda slow)."

This begs the question: What do you consider to be your Top 5 Movies of Re-Watchability? What movies can you just watch over and over again to the point where your brother tells you to get another obsession?

Let me know and we'll discuss later. I'm off to compose my list...

The Maltese Falcon was kinda slow?